Aaronssecret

 Without mentioning any names...there is a running club in kl every Saturday for queer guys. Can't help noticing there are many professional. Successful men who join the run, being open and just being themselves. I contemplated joining for so many times but ended up being a chicken shit. What are my concerns you ask?: 1. I am worried about being exposed 2. I am worried about coming out. When I am not ready to come out. I wonder if I ever will come out, or want to come out coz coming out is scary. It means I got to be myself and let people know I like men. So what's so wrong to like men??? There's nothing wrong about it. It's just that I do not know if I have it in me to be open about it. So no one knows about you?? There's 1 friend of mine who does and all my life he convinced myself that I just haven't met the right girl...or that I just seek the things I seek in other men coz I felt deprived of them in my own self... Heck who am I shitting? It's easier to ...

Sometimes what we really need is a break. A break from our routine. I am not sure about how everyone else functions. I am one of those person who wants to do the right thing, rather than what is right for me. That's how I rationalize things and convince myself that: THIS IS THE RIGHT THING, IT DOESNT SEEM CONVENIENT, BUT I SHOULD DO IT BECAUSE IT IS THE RIGHT THING TO DO....you keep doing something long enough and sometimes you start believing it. Most of the time, U get burnt out, U set unrealistic expectations from others, start feeling frustrated. Eventually, U forget that it was you who made that decision to begin with and carry a burden you can't let go. It's not nice, but it feels like there's no way out from it. So, take a step back. Try not to be so hard on yourself. You are just human. If you don't have the bravery to start saying no, the least you could do is to take a step back. Slowly avoid situations which put U under the bus. Avoid people who drain you...